Harry Potter woke up in hogwarts and looked around and saw that voldemort had taken over hogwarts and he said to himself oh no this is bad I need a crumpet and some cuddles
then he grabbed his wand then he got out of bed and then he put on his pants
then voldemort was like yeah this I bad I’m going to kill you now and he tried to kill Harry Potter but Harry Potter would not die and voldemort died instead then Harry Potter sneezed and hagrid said bless you and Harry Potter said thank you and blew his nose on ron’s sleeve
then someone slept with Harry Potter it really doesn’t matter who it was because it’s Harry Potter and he’s the hero so someone has to sleep with him by virtue of the fact that everybody wants to and we’re trying to cover up Harry Potter’s latent post pseudo macro sexuality and internal whatsits whatever that means
And then the phone rang and hermione was like da fuq when did u getta phone Harry Potter and Harry Potter was like I am The Wizard I can has anything if I want too watch me and he waved his wand and ron appeard but he was scared because Harry Potter was there and he was naked
then Harry Potter put his sex in hermione’s sex and they made sex.